I'm learning to knit. I suck... but I'm still learning. I only started a few days ago.

I wish Doug was home more often. Sometimes I feel like all I do all the time is wait for Doug. I'm always waiting for him to come around. Maybe my life revolves around him too much. I know his life is mainly centered around me, but he also has work and stuff. It would probably help if I had something to break up my days, to make my life feel interesting. It might make me feel better about all the waiting.

I feel like I don't have anything to say anymore. I could say what I did all day, but it gets redundant. I'm starting to feel like my life is just a circle of events repeating over and over and over until I'm just so dizzy. I don't think there's really any way to escape that. I imagine everyone feels like that most of the time. I just wish my days didn't blend together, and that my life wasn't just a constant of waiting for the weekend to finally arrive. But there's nothing I can do about it.

I've been thinking a lot today about mine and Doug's relationship. We are coming up to our second wedding anniversary, and that will mean we've been together, locally, as long as we've been apart. It's kind of weird because the apart part still seems like it was so much longer than the together part. Time passes so quickly when we're together. Even weekends and evenings pass much more quickly than the weekdays do. I don't understand how 60 minutes can feel so long and so short without actually changing, but whatever. I'm feeling deep in thought today.

Today was pretty uneventful. We did the normal Sunday thing, and then came home and slept. Doug was feeling sick pretty much all day and that's never fun. I'm really sad the weekend is over, but I'm looking forward to next weekend, since it is our 2nd anniversary and Doug is taking a 4 day weekend. It will be so nice just to be together for 4 WHOLE days. We have no plans, yet, but I know it will be a good weekend just because we'll get to be together. I know, that's really really cheesy.

Today has been a really great day. I think it's been the best Saturday we've had in a while. We got out to play some tennis, and I think that just made the rest of the day better. I always feel better when I do some sort of physical activity, even more so when I'm outside! I actually didn't do too bad! We also got to go out to a fancy dinner for free. I love weekends with Doug, I just wish they lasted longer. Hopefully tomorrow is another really great day to spend together!

Tonight Doug and I painted together. We sort of did the same scene, but with our own interpretations. I used water colors and Doug used oils. It was pretty cool. Doug's painting was really good, I liked it a lot. It's my desktop background now. It wasn't perfect or anything, but I was really impressed. He also taught me how to do a cool coloring effect to make the tree look more realistic and have more depth. We had a fun time painting together, and I am hoping we will do it more often.

I've done absolutely nothing of value or importance today. It's very sad how often this happens. I took another nap today (I took one yesterday as well). I'm so lazy. Tomorrow will be better as I'm going for a run in the morning, then I'm going to be doing laundry and taking care of Alpha's tank. I think tomorrow I will also draw and/or paint. I haven't painted in a while.

I am really hungry for some reason. And I'm doing horribly at working on my posture! This is going to be difficult.

I started doing "couch-to-5k" on Monday, so today was my second day of running. I get this mental block every time I try to run. If I see people, I just automatically think they are watching me and it's hard to concentrate on running. So today I just gave up running. It was bad. I'm going to go running again on Friday, but this time I'm going to run at the cemetery. There is a path there that I can run on. There's usually nobody there, so I will have some privacy.

I spring cleaned the bedroom and bathroom today. I don't know why I keep calling it spring cleaning because I'm mainly just organizing, not really cleaning. The bedroom took me all day. I had a lot to do. It looks so much better now, and I'm really happy. Tomorrow I'll go get some organization things... I want some boxes to put my craft things in, and something for the kitchen, then I need to get some lotion and a box for Doug's mom's b.day present. It will be a productive day.

Happy birthday to Doug! He's 27 years old today. We mostly celebrated his birthday over the weekend. We went out to dinner and everything, but today I made steak and roasted garlic mashed potatoes and sugar cookies. It was some amazing food! I sometimes surprise myself with what I am able to cook. I also got candles and a banner and party hats. I wanted Doug's birthday to be special for him. I love him so much and I'm so glad he was born. He means the world to me.

Today was a great day. Aside from just the normal Sunday stuff we do, we had great "us time". It was really nice to just be together. We read to each other, we had "bedroom time" and we just hung out together the entire day. It was so good. It makes me really look forward to our anniversary since Doug is taking 2 days off. I really want to just have a long span of time where we just spend time together. Weekends are way too short it seems.

We have to take the car in this morning in less than an hour. Then we're going to go for a run. I am going to try the couch-to-5k program again. Since I have my ipod I'm hoping it will be easier for me, and I won't be so aware of other people or be self conscious. I am so out of shape, the winter was not good to my weight loss. I'm looking forward to getting back into playing tennis as well, we'll start playing again tomorrow.

Day two of spring cleaning went well. I cleaned up the computer wires. I was feeling too lazy to do anything else, but that WAS a project! We were supposed to go out last night so I got all dolled up, but we ended up staying home. We'll (hopefully) go out tonight. I'm really looking forward to it. I love getting out of the apartment. Then we'll come home and watch Star Wars. It should be a good night if everything works out according to the plan!

I started spring cleaning today. I am mostly just organizing from now until Wednesday then I will scrub clean on Thursday and Friday. It makes me feel good. I want to start a container garden soon. I'm going to grow spinach, miniature tomatoes, cucumber and possibly edamame. Then I am going to have an herb garden with basil, oregano, parsley and cilantro, and I want a bunch of cat grass for the girls. I still need to research a bit so I can do it right.

I am PMSing really bad today. I have cried twice about things that aren't important and don't even matter. I hate being so emotional!

I decided to plant a potted vegetable garden this summer. I'm excited! I'm not really sure if it is even allowed in our building, but I can't see any rules against it. If they ask me to remove it I will. It won't even be visible to anyone unless they actually go on the balcony. We'll see what happens, I guess.

My tummy hurts. I made pizza from scratch today. It was okay. The dough didn't turn out quite right. It was a little too thick. It was really tasty other than that, though. I think next time I'm going to make BBQ chicken pizza. I'm excited. Doug got his ipod today. I can't really tell if he is super happy about it or not. I think he is, since as soon as he got it he filled it with songs and went running! Haha.

I've got baby fever pretty bad right now. I keep thinking about when Doug and I have babies and how they will look and how we will dress them and what it will be like to be a parent. I am anxious to have kids. I want to see Doug learn and grow as a dad as our baby learns and grows. I want to watch Doug change his first diaper, hold his first baby and generally just learn to be a dad.

In Sunday school we talked about the #4 sex needs of men and women. For men it was "initiation" and the women talked about how to assist in that (women DO have a hard time initiating sometimes because of a mental block). One suggestion was to set aside money for "sex life" stuff, including hotel rendez-vous. So Doug and I will do that. I think we'll go away for a weekend in late May or early June. I'm really excited about it!

Today is 'Fat Movie Day'! We get to eat whatever crap we want and watch movies all day! It's fantastic! We decided to have a fat movie day once a month where we just veg in front of the tv having movie marathons. Today it is "Band of Brothers" and "Firefly" because Band of Brothers is too serious and gut wrenching to take all at once without a break. Next time it will be Star Wars or Lost season one! Fun!

I know I'm not always cheerful and pleasant, but I try to not always be doom and gloom. This one person I know is ALWAYS doom and gloom. Complaining about everything. It's fine for a while, I know not everyone is actually happy about everything, but I think it's a negative habit to have. Every time I see her I just want to be like, "snap out of it!" and tell her to think about something positive. Just be happy!

I changed my username on livejournal today. I never really liked my old one, and I thought it was cute at first, but it didn't have any meaning to me. I didn't want the new one to have anything to do with writing, and I wanted it to be part of a quote I like. It is now something I really like that means something to me. It was kind of spontaneous but I'm happy with it for sure.

I fell for so many April fool's jokes yesterday. It was bad. Today I feel inspired to do something productive. But it's after 2pm and all I've done is watch almost the whole first season of Laguna Beach. I need to write, and I think I'm ready to start outlining my next novel. I also need to brainstorm about future novels. It's hard work, especially when I'm not feeling particularly creative. I don't always have a creative muse.

Melanie and Trevor got their hedgehog (Theodore). He's so cute! It makes me really want a new pet. I guess I just need something else to do. It isn't like I'm unhappy with my kitties. I love my kitties. And we're also going to get puppies when we can, so it's not like there won't be enough animals in our home. I think I'm just bored and a new pet is a good way to cure boredom.

Today I am running errands. It's been a while, actually. I need to go to the bank and deposit some checks, and get some coin papers. Then I need to go to shoppers and send off some letters and a package, then I have to buy some random things that we need. I'm happy to get out of the apartment today. I don't really feel very good though. I feel a little under the weather today.

Melanie and Trevor got a hedgehog today! I'm soooo jealous! I told Doug I want a bunny and he said no. I can understand where he's coming from, but I still want one! He'd rather just have two cats and two dogs and that's it. It sucks because I really want other things, like a turtle and a bunny and a pig. I know once we have kids I won't care anymore, so it's okay.

I removed K from my lj last night. I feel good about it, but it's never a nice thing to feel like you have to remove someone from your life. I did (and do) care about her, so it's hard. I wish things were different, but I can't force us to be friends anymore. I'm not really sure what she is going to do, she already commented and said some mean things, but whatever.

What is it about the internet that makes people think they are suddenly psychologists, or doctors? Just because they have the ability to type and read they think they can be all insightful and diagnose a mental problem, or tell you why your friend is acting strange. I feel offering insight into situations is good, but when did it become okay to diagnose people? And worse still is that people believe each other.

We got our bonus check today and paid off the credit card! That was super nice, and I'm so happy. We still have some debt on the line of credit, but that will be gone at the end of April... May at the latest.

I decided I'm buying Doug an iPod if he doesn't get one for his birthday. He deserves it. I'll get him a black iPod Nano. I am excited!

My mom and dad got me a green iPod nano for my birthday! It's so awesome and I can't believe they would do that for me! I never expected it. I had wanted the green one ever since I saw the commercial with the Feist music video. When I got the package yesterday I said "omigosh omigosh omigosh!" I was so excited. I named it "Lima Bean" and I love it!

Yesterday was such a great birthday. I had a really fun time shopping with Melanie. I got a ton of stuff, too! 4 purses, a bunch of earrings, a wallet, 2 shoes, 4 flip-flops, 5 tank tops and 4 t-shirts! That's the most purses I have ever bought on one day! Amazing! I love everything, too, and can't wait to wear it all. :) Especially the shoes. But it's still cold!