I tried, I really tried. I got so frustrated that I laid everything out to him and told him what had been bubbling up inside regarding our lack of commitments and future plans. And like every serious conversation, he deftly avoided the topic and went off looking at homes again, thinking that this is what I was talking about. And it is not. Not the immediate issue, at least.

I feel like a huge nag even though we don't discuss this sort of thing all that much. Been together for four years and it just seems as though things would have progressed much farther than they have. I can't seem to get my needs across to him in ways he understands. A man of inaction and misunderstanding. I know I love him for he couldn't make me this upset were he not drawn in my heart.

I don't know what to do. Two days until he is here and things will get forgotten and shuffled around again. I just want him to say it to me. Just say he wants me, only me, only as his, for the rest of our lives. I need that much. No more "I don't know" or "We need more time" or "Sure, in a few years ahead". I need to hear it now. I need this to settle my heart.